.days of an aspiring fashion designer

.see ya

2008-11-07T16:13:00.003-05:00

as i've mentioned some entries back, i have a serious pest problem on this blog. if i choose to relocate and you'd like the new URL, leave a comment with your e-mail address and link to your blog or myspace page.

.election day 08

2008-11-04T08:42:00.006-05:00

since the polls didn't open until 7a.m. my mother and i decided to get up at 6 a.m. and go vote before the line got too long. we got there at 6:30 a.m. and there was NOWHERE to park! we ended up parking 2 streets over and walked to the line. at this point, the line is leading from the door, down to the middle of the street. to my surprise, everyone seemed to be in a great mood! not one person was complaining about the lines or the fact that it was only in the 5o's. still standing at the back of the line with my mother and i realize i don't have my camera! mad that i left my camera, i call my sister and ask her to run by my house and get it just as Shauna walks up and stands in line with my mother and i like no one was behind us! again, to my surprise...none of them said a word! it must of been that "i wish you would" look on her face! LOL
my sister gets there at 7:11 and this is was the line
in front of us : bending the corner

behind us : down the street and around the school

a beautiful sight!: baltimore at its best! people in their pjs

as we got closer to the door

obama/biden signs: not even one mccain/palin sign

inside the polling place: line comes through the door and wraps around

after i voted: line still up the street and around the corner

finally view: a proud moment... move shauna!

i never thought i'd see the day that we'd have the chance to vote for a black man i just can't help but to be proud of who i am the and the people who fought to get me here. able to vote, speak freely, and live my life as a equal person! even if this man that i kind of sort of have a mini crush on does not win, i'm still proud of the effort he has put forth to show my son, NO... all of us that we can grow up to be whatever we want no matter what race we are. OBAMA/BIDEN 08!

.sewing adventure

2008-10-29T17:06:00.004-04:00

that was a quick hiatus huh?
working and listening to 90's R&B.

day #2. pin and sew, getting tired but still pushing it. almost done. oh wait,gotta stop to feed the kids.

the end

.tiny hiatus

2008-10-28T11:08:00.003-04:00

sometimes you need support to give you that drive. i'll be back when i'm feeling not so drained.

.out of boredom

2008-10-23T20:01:00.004-04:00

more shots of my hair. i know, my earrings are ridiculous but i love them!!!

.i went through with it...

2008-10-21T15:27:00.003-04:00

i thought about it up until i sat in the salon chair. keep the red hair.. or cut it and dye it black...so i did it.

i really want to move my blog but umm anyway... some strange man keeps knocking on my door asking to see my basement. post later.

.broken

2008-10-16T16:38:00.007-04:00

because of the dental work i just had done...i can't eat solid food and i am pissed! i want a big ass crispy chicken sandwich with lettuce, bacon, cheese, and BBQ sauce! i want a personal pan pizza with pepperoni and bacon! i want fried chicken with a big side of mashed potatoes and buttered broccoli! i could rip my hair out!

to make things worse, i broke my sewing machine needle while fixing the straps on a dog's coat!

a pic from friday night's dinner dateand we both got a kick out of this

.oh doll!

2008-10-07T18:09:00.007-04:00

every fashion designer has some story about "making clothes for their barbies" as a kid. i was a tomboy who'd climb trees in my sundress, ride my bike with skirts on, and collect bugs in an old shoe box. i didn't care for the one legged barbie i had. i saw her as a slap in the face from my mom who wanted me to be this "ms. prissy" that i actually grew up to be!

today, i received a box from my aunt with a message that her "babies need my help". in the box were 11 of these dolls. all i could do was smile and shake my head! its just my luck that the one thing i hated as a kid has come back to bite me. LOL!

my aunt and grandmother run a flea market every sat. rain or shine for people who can't afford regular store prices. christmas is just a few short months away so they are now selling these dolls and other toys. so its all up to me to give these girls a Quiana style makeover! i guess i need to get on it huh?

.random rambling

2008-10-01T15:50:00.006-04:00

they say you can tell when a woman is going through something because she'll change her hair. i am seriously leaning towards cutting my hair to about a inch or 2 under my ears and dying it black. just a thought that is very close to happening. i just feel like i need a change.maybe a 4th tattoo will be thrown in the mix also.

i never really was a club person but i got this sudden "girl, you're only 22" voice in my ear. i've put all my time into my son, doing daycare, and taking personal trips to NY. no me time at all and its starting to take a toll on me. i need to get back on my saturday night bar hopping with my Eshawn and Krystal! hmmm, need some new faces! wanna join me?

i don't know if the prescribed oxycodine had anything to do with it but this sketch came to me in a dream last night. you know how your man's button down shirt sometimes reveal your hips but is long in the front and back? its like that with a yoke top and thin waist belt. it seems like a cute idea... at least i think so!

.hurry election 08

2008-09-30T15:00:00.004-04:00

am i the only one who can't wait for this election to be over?! i am soooooooooooo tired of people trying to twist Obama's words, quoting McCain, and interviews with Ms. I wanted Alaska to be a part of Canada but now i'm running for U.S V.P.!

i for one, will NOT vote for McCain JUST because he has a vagina on his side! especially one that does not think we need sex education in school! we should teach our own children to 'not" have sex. sex is everywhere! how many people can honestly say that their parents told them NOT to have sex and they didn't? you have sex when you're ready and why shouldn't these kids be prepared for when they are ready? its funny how this woman is so open about being against abortions, sex ed, and birth control and there are so many videos out about Obama and "infantcide" now! i am beyond annoyed with this whole election and i can't wait for December so this shit will be over!

come on! really! what is everyone scared of? do you think if Obama is our president our flag will be converted to a yellow flag with the black power symbol on it?! do you really think weed will be the new legal cure for everyone's problems??! are you scared he is going to change the lyrics of our national anthem to say "i ain't never ran from a nigga and i ain't about to pick to day to start running...."?!

he is already made history and we love him for it! i wish everyone would get the hell over it!

.unexpected hiatus

2008-09-25T13:19:00.003-04:00

after days of having a toothache, i finally took my ass to the dentist. i will fight through pain until i feel like i'm seconds away from death which is a bad thing because i cause myself more damage by doing that. when i was pregnant with my son, he drained most of the calcium out, causing me to have soft finger nails, and weakened my teeth so long story short, i'm in tremendous pain, sore gums, taking oxycodine, and can't open my mouth wide enough to eat solid food! right now i'm living off of nasty ass applesauce, chicken soup, and warm water. i have an appointment to have this taken care of next week but i'm praying that most of the pain will subside before then.

p.s. my 2 yr old son keeps messing with my because he knows i'm in pain! he hit my cheek and laughted so i pinched him and screamed "you play too much punk!" he turns and shouts "what you say" like he is a gangsta or something and runs out the room! lol. it took everything in me not to smile and hurt myself.

.it is what it is

2008-09-21T23:54:00.002-04:00

while suffering from a serious headache thats keeping me awake, my mind will not stray away from questions that have yet to receive answers. half of me wants answers and the other half just throws in the white towel. i feel like i handle certain situations to the best of my ability but then hear that i went about it all wrong. i hate being in the center of shit. i rather be alone than to be placed in an uncomfortable position for that reason. especially when i always catch the blunt end of the assault. i am no ms. cleo but i can see myself being alone. in the past, i'd do everything in my power to fix the things that i cared about the most. this time, i'm the one thats broken.

so my main question is ... how do you go from being looked at like family, to being looked at like the enemy? i know for a fact that there is a lot of trust lost but on what grounds? i've been asking myself this for days and i believe it is part of the reason for this pounding headache but i can't help but wonder. its painful when you hold someone dear to you and they lose trust over something that never happened or crossed your mind.

"you are what you eat" so i guess they think i have a batch of backstabber cookie stashed in my purse.

.mmm ruffles

2008-09-18T13:37:00.008-04:00

i ran across this vest in bonzie's etsy shop. she is selling this vest and many other styles for $45.00. this vest is very pretty to me but i don't know if i would really pay $45 for it. that may just be because i'm a d.i.y type person. being that, i saw a tutorial for this vest through instructables.com. the fact that it was made from an old pair of jeans is what made me fall head over heels for this vest. can't you just imagine this vest with a plaid, or pinstripe print? my only problem is, could this really be worn on a normal just chills day? if i have a change of heart and decide that i do want one, i'll probably make mine with an old pair of jeans. that way it can be worn with anything. although, pinstripes would be sexy!

i have a idea for this shirt dress out of a old 4x button down. if it turns out the way i'm see it then look forward to some pictures and maybe even a tutorial.

.back

2008-09-12T17:52:00.002-04:00

this brief hiatus and a weekend with my huney was what i needed. not just because of the great massage he gave me but because he motivated me to push myself more.

i have a book full of sketches that date back to 2003 and had no intention to make some of them. i remember sitting in Mrs. Williams boring ass English class, passing notes to my Jessie Babe and sketches ideas that i would feed the trash can with by the end of the day. after a while i began to save them and they now rest inside of a big white binder, collecting dust. as time goes on, i grow to love them more and wonder why it is i chose to negelect them. so..... instead of letting my babies go unseen inside a cluttered book, i am going to frame my 3 favorites and hang them up in my little corner. when i graduate to a bigger space, they'll have a place on my wall to remind me of where it all began. i am also going to start working on mini collections for 2009. six or more garments to begin my portfolio. so excited already! 2009... watch me!

P.S. thinking of giving away prom dress ideas in sketch form.

.hmm

2008-09-03T13:51:00.007-04:00

thinking of moving this blog. might even close it all together.

.the half way point

2008-08-24T15:07:00.003-04:00

i had a lot of this fabric and nothing to do with it. i placed it on my sewing table and this idea came to me. an off the shoulders shirt with baggy 3/4 sleeves. i started working on this Thursday night and this is how far i've gotten. there is so much to do but i can't force myself to work on it right now. i still need to hem the bottom, take the seam out of the left sleeve and cut it a little more, and add a wow factor with the red fabric. i am not dead set on using the red. i have so many other colors to choose from but as of right now, i may stick with red.

i shall be back probably the middle of the week or weekend.

.sketch

2008-08-20T12:11:00.005-04:00

i'm not fond of this sketch but its kind of growing on me.(please excuse the hair! my son kept moving my arm as i was drawing last night) its a open vest with a shirt that has a draping neckline and ruffled bottom. i have this infatuation with ruffles that is beyond ridiculous! not sure if i'm going to make this. if i do, it will probably be worn once and then collect dust in the dark abyss that is my closet! i am thinking of altering it a little by taking the ruffles off the bottom of the shirt and making it like a dress, giving the vest ruffles around the arm holes, and making the shirt sleeves longer. deep thought its needed on that.

my baby told me i should make myself a girly hoodie. later on tonight i'll probably sketch that out to see what i come up with.

if you were confused about my last post, allow me to detail it a little for you. there is a female who takes it upon herself to "watch" whats going on in my life. it is very annoying. a grown ass woman is taking the time out of her day to visit my blog several times throughout the day from different locations just to see whats going on between my baby and i. who does that? bitch, build a bridge and get over it! we are happy! just shows how much of a life you have.

.to my #1 fan

2008-08-19T13:57:00.005-04:00

happiness is where his heart is. with my son and i. keep watching us grow.

.fashion week

2008-08-14T15:56:00.002-04:00

i'd be lying if i said i wasn't hot about not being able to attend baltimore's fashion week. i knew i wasn't going to be able to be in the show but i at least wanted to go. the only person who was willing to go was Brran but the atl wanted him a little longer. i asked another best est and she said "boo, you're not in it so i'm not going." sucks! i could have gone by myself but some things are best done with friends.

there are very few fashion shows in baltimore so i believe my chances of seeing a nice curvy girl strut my shit has gone out the window. at least until next year. i'm really bummed over this!
i plan to do a mini collection and find a nice photographer for a photo shoot. maybe i'll be back later with a few sketches.

EDITED: 7:43 p.m.

it took for me to miss out on this major opportunity to realize that i need to snap out of this low swagga thing! i mean, for the rest of my life ... i'll have to deal with haters! i'm sure there are a lot of people doubting me as is. with that being said... i'll leave the doubting to my haters! time to get to work! did i mention that i am bummed?!

.no men's wear for me

2008-08-11T16:41:00.001-04:00

EDITed 10:11 p.m.

i was looking through Model Mayhem to see whats new under the clothing designer section when i came across this.

this right here is a perfect example of why i DON'T do men's clothing. you can't do but so much to a man before you have him screaming "triple snap in a z formation." not that there is anything wrong with gay men, but i'm sure that there are no heterosexual men in this world, that want to walk around with a yellow button down polo shirt with a ruffled collar and faux fur sleeves! in my eyes, there are only 2 ways a man can go... street sleek and dapper dan. maybe some men can get away with a combo of the 2. hmmm, thats not a bad idea. maybe i will try to sketch out a few thing in the near future. but for now, i'll leave that to Ralph Lauren!

.fuck what you heard

2008-08-06T12:07:00.000-04:00

i've come to love the SBPH blog and all of the conversations that stem from the topics but one thing that is beginning to boil my blood is the amount of comments about baltimore. i understand that a lot of people watch The Wire so they have this perception of everything baltimore is about. this city is never displayed for any of the great things that it has breed. its just the drug, murder, and aids city.

FIRST OF ALL, not everyone from baltimore is a walking box of "Herpiesyphilirhea"! placing everyone that baltimore has given birth to under one category shows how wrong people really are.I did NOT come from a crackhead mother, we didn't live in those 4 level beat down house that you see on Tv, and we have never lived off the government! we did not always have it easy but we never live under those baltimore stereotypes.

its annoying when people speak on shit that they think they know about. until you've lived in baltimore for more than a few years... don't catigorize its people! i'll admit that as soon as everything is right for me, i'm moving away but its for the good of my child. if ALL baltimore people were like the ones you've seen on The Wire , i'd be on some ole "i'll stay here so my son can live out dope boy dreams" type shit. its a sad thing when you can't tell people where you are from because of the instant stereotypes that come along with it.

this city that used to be know for breeding some of the most important people in black history such as Billie Holiday, Frederick Douglass, and Thurgood Marshall, has now been down graded. our people's lust for material things have decayed this city and any smart person knows that this isn't just a baltimore problem. there are other places such as memphis, atl, l.a, and detroit that have the same drug, crime, and health issues as baltimore but you just choose to single out the one that has the HBO show.

so to everyone who feels the need to judge me or they know something about me based off of my birth place, you can kiss my baltimore fed ass. i make me who i am, not my city

.low swagga

2008-08-02T22:49:00.000-04:00

i find that i am motivated to sew when people piss me off. so i was able to finish this dress thursday night, that i no longer love. i swear it always looks a lot better on paper! i can sit down and sketch out the cutest dress but for some reason, i always end up losing love for it. this might have something to do with my brother telling me i look like a kinky cop in this dress. he said all i need is a hat and handcuffs.

my goal for this life is to be featured in New York and/or L.A fashion week every year within the next 10 years. by my mid 30's, i'd like to have my own boutique. i figure i have to start off small with something like selling on eBay. i get so many messages through myspace and e-mail from people wanting me to make them stuff but i keep turning them down. there is a lack of confidence here that is so serious! when they say "you are you're own worse critic" they are absolutely right in my case! its not just my dislike for my ideas after a while. its also the fact that i'm not really a money person, so i'd put a price on this dress and have everyone screaming that my prices are too low. in the back of my mind i tell myself "you spent your time on making this, so why not put a higher price on it". everything that i make starts off as an idea that is sketches out on paper, and deeply analyzed. i look at my sketch and figure out how many pieces this garment will need. i draw out each piece, measure the body, and carefully put it together. this is something that i taught myself to do. with no school training and being able to do what i can, i can see why people scream on me about pricing. most of these ideas are trial and error. they come out great but i feel that it could be better. i guess with more time under my belt, i'll be combfort enough with my clothes to sell. for now i continue to fill up my closet and draw up new ideas.

. room made over

2008-07-31T19:42:00.000-04:00

i came back and read my own post + the picture, and i felt some type of way. mad that mt space has been cut down but disgusted with myself because i didn't really try to do something with it before. i'm my mind i have an idea of what i want the room to look like but since i can't knock down walls and all that good shit, i have to deal with what i have. so i took some time to rearrange the room and this is as far as i got. I still don't know if i want to paint the walls or add wallpaper so for now i guess this will work.

.room make over

2008-07-31T16:05:00.000-04:00

i've figured out that this is the reason why i haven't been so inspired to work on the clothes that i've started! i had to beg for this room and now that i have it... my people want it to be a play room for my nephews too! so this room that was supposed to be mine has been cut down to this small piece of space! (if you look in the left corner of the pictures, you can see my son's creative mess on the floor!

i have no clue how to fix it up! the room is slanted so i don't have much room to work with and my step-brother felt the need to spray paint his name of the walls like a child. i'm NOT a fan of his so the last thing i want to see while i'm sewing is that dick wad's name! i have piles of fabric, 2 dress forms, and a storage bin that also need to get is this tiny space. i have to revamp this "area" into something that i am proud of and thats kiddie proof. i don't feel like getting in touch with my inner Bob the Builder so i need a miracle!

.meet me

2008-07-28T10:24:00.000-04:00

see me as a success story. way before the success. i'm walking through life with my child on my back, hands filled with bags of pain, anger, and pipe dreams that were sold to me. instead of screaming i can't do this and dropping everything, i take it each day at a time and keep walking towards this goal. along the way, i've been able to let go of the bag containing pipe dreams. the anger and pain still weigh me down but i grid my teeth and loosen my grip. with no one who can fit my stilettos long enough to travel this road, its been even harder to push forward. i've had people around me whisper advice but as it leaves their lips and enters my ear, the level of their knowledge becomes clear. while they try to advise, they truly don't understand that this path can not be traveled so easily. grateful to have such people, i make the choice to keep them off my path and i don't allow them to touch the bags. now as the bags are at the verge of falling from my finger tips, another bag has been picked up. stress. this bag is so heavy that it has to be dragged but i continue to drag it towards that light. what keeps me going? i see the end of this path. a better place for my son and the satisfaction of knowing that i did it on my own.

so as i keep walking to the end, i'll share bits and pieces of the stops along the way